We all know those people who seem to always have it together. They have an air of confidence about them and they exude a sense of calm. They are clear and focused and they never appear to be overwhelmed, confused, stuck, stressed, helpless, frightened or ruffled.
These people can be the envy of those of us who arrive into a room leaving giant skid marks and a trail of destruction behind us. Under siege from a barrage of disconnected thoughts, indecisions, comparisons, self-criticisms, fears and worries, our hopeful aspirations are somehow overtaken by self-doubt. This self-doubt takes up residence in our head, and subsequently our bodies.
Sadly, most of us don’t know what we need to get us even half-way towards achieving confidence, calmness, clarity, peace and joy. We are so busy feeling overwhelmed and fearful that we are not even aware that we are stuck and in the same old pattern, day in, day out.
Unfortunately, when we get into this cycle we are so unaware that we forget to look for help or even acknowledge that there may be help out there. This is what I describe as a “manic sleep”. Although you are completely manic you are oblivious to how you feel and you are unaware of the fact that you can wake up and get relief.
I want you to learn how to feel your best in any situation, no matter what is happening around you. Thankfully, in recent times we have begun to experience a massive shift towards people taking responsibility for their own happiness. It is a movement that is very exciting to be part of. Guess what, though? You don’t need to wait for someone else to invite you along. You can row in yourself and join the action.
Once we know it is possible to be happier, we have a responsibility to do and be our best. If at this point you are saying “That’s all fine and well, but how the hell do I do it?”, then read on!
Make a change
Change (or even the sound of the word for some people) can instill panic greater than the fear of being chased by a herd of elephants. Here’s the thing. As humans, we generally resist change until things get to a point where we are steeped in fear, overwhelm, panic or anger, or indeed all of them together. We sometimes need to feel so uncomfortable that we just know we can’t do it this same way anymore. Unfortunately, some of us even wait for a crisis before we consider making change. Please don’t wait; make the change now.
Four key elements to lasting change
There are four key elements of change that we need to understand:
- We need to uncover, acknowledge and define what is wrong
- See exactly how things went wrong
- Understand what needs to happen to recombobulate it all
- Know how to take the relevant steps or action to make it happen
Each and every one of us has all the resources we need within us to create positive change.
I know some of us have been dealt a worse hand than others in life. I also know that life throws curve balls all the time.
Seeing is believing
Understanding how you created your perception of your reality is key to figuring out what needs to be changed. How you observe your world and the things that happen in it is the first step in being perceptive. The second step is the meaning you decide to put on what you observe. This creates your perception or your model of the world. Note I said decide, and that decision will most likely be made subconsciously.
Be the change
Of course, we are all changing all of the time and change is a process. Some of us do it quickly and some of us do it slowly. Profound and lasting change can happen in a heartbeat. I’m so sure of this because I have witnessed it on so many occasions in my work.
Knowing your destiny
Before you make any changes it is imperative to know what you want. It never ceases to amaze me the number of clients that proceed to tell me all that they don’t want when I ask them what they want!
Decide to decide
Your next step is to decide. We often underestimate the power of decision. It is the first step to any result.
I am asking you to take some time to think about what you would like to change. What would you like to be different in your life? What areas would you like to change? What about your relationships, finances, health, social life, career or business?
Once you are clear on the area, next decide what specifically within that area you wish to work on. Make a list of these things and when you have that completed it is time to make the decision to change. What I mean is create a formal moment where you purposefully make that decision. This gives your logical mind a starting point so that it can work towards creating a middle and an end. Your logical mind performs best with order so give it what it likes so it will work optimally.
Steps for steps
It is important to have a timeframe on what you want to achieve. This timeframe satisfies your mind. Knowing how long you intend the process to last will help consciously and subconsciously plan the time blocks within the allocated time. I always start at the end and work back. For example, if I set a business goal I define the time period for achieving it.
Let’s say I decide I want to achieve a business goal within six months. I then ask myself what I need to have done by month five, month four, month three, etc. This helps me to map out the actions I need to take to achieve the goal.
It’s important to remember that the end is just the beginning. When you’ve had enough and are ready to make a change, you have immense power to get started on the road to happiness. Peace of mind and peace of heart are the most important and beneficial states we can embody. We all deserve that.
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