Don’t be resilient, be anti-fragile

How to use adversity to become stronger, not weaker

The monster had a poisonous scent, so Heracles covered his mouth as he entered the murky swamp. He found the creature sleeping and shot several fiery arrows into its belly. But this was Hydra the immortal, a huge snake-like beast with numerous heads. Merely angered by the arrows, it charged at Heracles, ready to tear him apart.

Heracles was ready for battle, however, and began cutting off Hydra’s heads. The beast shrieked in pain, but as each head was severed, two grew back in its place. A bloody battle pursued. Heracles, the greatest fighter of his day, fought valiantly, but Hydra’s ability to regenerate forced him to retreat.

Hydra is a classic example of something that is antifragile. According to Nassim Nicholas Taleb, instead of breaking under pressure, antifragile systems thrive when exposed to shocks and crises.

With the right mind-set, people can be like this too. Instead of crumbling in the face of adversity, they become stronger.

Resilience is a remarkable quality in any person, giving them an ability to cope with crises, withstand shocks, and recover from their difficulties. While this something to aspire to, I think we can be more than that.

Instead of merely coping with what life throws at us, and returning to our pre-existing state, we can grow from adversity by focusing on progress. This is the essence of human antifragility, an ability to thrive during challenging times.

Here are several examples from my own life. I was a heroin addict for 15 years, but today it is my greatest ally. The lessons I’ve learned have made me far stronger, and by showing people that change is possible, I’m hoping to inspire others who are struggling to change their own lives.

The most painful night of my life was also the most important night of my life. It forced me to let go of my story, my ego, the one that protected my addiction, and I was able to view the world from a completely new perspective.

I had to get a part-time job when I went back to college. I delivered takeaway food every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night for 3 years. It was a humbling experience, but it turned into 4000 hours of audio learning, and the insights learned have opened doors beyond my wildest dreams.

If you want to become antifragile, you need to focus on progress in the face of adversity. It doesn’t have to be a major setback — opportunities for growth are everywhere.

When a negative thought pops into your head, use it as a cue to replace it with a positive one. If you hate waiting in queues, use it as an opportunity to meditate. It’s far better than stewing while you wait. If you find yourself getting irritated or stressed, use it as a chance to practice non-reactivity.

This technique is particularly useful for interacting with others. If someone lets you down, use it as an opportunity to practice forgiveness. When you’re around difficult people, and you cannot remove yourself from the situation, use it as an opportunity to practice tolerance and compassion.

You can also use challenging relationships as a chance to practice your perspective-taking skills. It’s very hard not to be empathetic when you’re standing in someone else’s shoes.

This technique can also be utilised to develop a growth mindset. If you fail at something you care about, use it as an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. If you receive negative feedback, use it as a chance to learn something new. If you’re feeling stuck on a project, use it as an opportunity to think creatively.

I’m not saying you can turn every negative into a positive. Shit happens in life and you need to accept this fact. But if you focus on progress in the face of adversity, that doesn’t matter, because your growth will be astronomical.

Life’s challenges will no longer make you weaker, they’ll make you stronger. Some people might call you resilient, but you’ll be far more than that — you’ll be antifragile.