The key to happiness

I am currently reading the “Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. For those who have read it before may find it inspiring and awakening, some may not understand it at all. It can be tough to read and, it can be difficult to put into practice but doing so will start you on the road to peace and happiness.

I’m only 50 pages in but it helps me really think about, well, the true power of now. The enlightenment and tranquillity it can give. I suffer badly with anxiety and anything can be the trigger. It can take me by surprise and last for weeks or months or may only last a day. I try everyday practices like meditating, yoga or exercise but sometimes it can “win” and have power over me, it isn’t nice.

Learning that anxiety is in the form of constantly thinking about the future, the fear of things to happen or not to happen, wanting to change things that I don’t have control over, and learning stress is the worry and holding on of the past, it helps to change my way of thinking. It allows me to approach it differently. It certainly isn’t easy for me but it’s a big step towards combatting it. I tend to have little moments of enlightenment and moments where I “win”.

This week, I learned that the key to your happiness is, in fact, YOU. YOU are the key to your own happiness. Eckhart describes our problems as life situations. You need to be practical, face them, make a decision, move on. He asks in his book at one point what is your problem right now this very minute? Not in 5 minutes, 10 minutes, but now? This made me think as I was on the DART, reading my book, I really didn’t have a problem right now. I was standing, warm, food to eat, not in any life-threatening situation. What in this exact moment do I have to worry about? I didn’t have anything. Being present and in the now is the key to my happiness I’ve realised. Focusing on each task, what I’m doing right now and just enjoying it, that really is living and more importantly living free.

I understood that wanting certain things, relationships, situations you did/did not want to happen isn’t the key to true happiness. Instead, that it is, in fact, the constant search for happiness. We think when we obtain that item we’ll be happy but inevitably, we’re not. We want the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. I now know that I do not need to rely on things or people to make me happy. I create my own happiness.

Things change, people change, life changes all the time. One minute you may feel happy and content in your life, the next something out of your control happens and then you don’t know what to do. Queue the despair, anxiety, stress. You can’t control people and their actions, relationships that you have and cherish can be gone in an instant. You can’t control this change (most of the time). You can’t control external factors like the weather on a wedding day or a recession!

But you CAN control yourself. It is not selfish to put yourself first. Social connections are important to us as humans but loving yourself is the most important. Worrying about external factors is really not relevant to your life right now in this instant you can only control your current situation and the present moment.

So, do what makes you happy! Dance, have a cup of tea, sing, eat chocolate, write something, walk, exercise. Just do what makes you happy, one thing every day. It doesn’t have to be a big thing just something you know that makes you happy and be present while doing it. Do something for you. Spend time with people who make you happy, who cherish you and who you cherish too. Life is too short not to live in the present. You shouldn’t dwell on the past or worry about the future, just live in the now. You can make plans for the future and write down goals but then focus on the current steps to get there. Enjoy the journey to the destination because if you miss the journey, you miss out on life.

There you are, my reflections this week and I hope it might help you! Let me know what you think about the power of now and your thoughts on the above, I’d love to hear them! Comment below, follow my Instagram and Facebook!

Thanks for reading, AlwaysAisling