Psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson, regarded as the ‘mother’ of positive psychology, developed the ‘positivity offset’ theory which explores the evolutionary purpose of positive emotions. Frederickson and her team studied the ratio of positive to negative interactions between couples and from this developed the theory which suggests we need a ratio of at least five positive emotions to offset one negative one. Feeling positive emotions helps us to broaden and develop our minds so that when we are calm, content and at peace, we are far more effective at making decisions, finding solutions and communicating.
Last Monday, for the first time since March 21st there were NO Coronavirus deaths! Big news or what? And yet it went under the radar and was under reported by the media. Perhaps the rationale behind this was that the authorities don’t want the public to become more complacent about the restrictions, given that we can see this is already happening. While I understand the caution, I also believe that progress needs to be acknowledged in order for further progress to be made. In a similar way, a child who had been struggling with spelling and who through great conscious effort makes progress needs to be praised or he/she will become demotivated.
For months we have subsisted on a daily broadcast diet of the COVID-19 death toll with children also constantly exposed to it, which is a concern in terms of mental health impacts over the longer term.
In order for us to offset the inevitably high ratio of negative news, we must soak in the positive when it presents itself.
This week, I ask you to activate your own positivity offset. Can you seek out the good news and share it? I believe you can given that you are, after all, reading this!
Please see below my fiction, non-fiction and podcast recommendations for June. Also, if you have any recommendations for me, I would love to hear them.
I am delighted by the large influx of new subscribers to my limited FREE offer for the online program, The Positive Habit and am truly grateful to those of you who have donated; it truly does help you to value the course. If you register for it please be sure to follow it as it will really help you. I continue re-listening to the hypnotherapy audios from the program every single day and they really are helping to keep me calm and present. Please do spread the word far and wide to friends and family.
Non- Fiction Recommendation
The School of Life – introduced by Alain De Botton
If, as Alain de Botton claims, emotional intelligence affects every aspect of our lives, from romantic to professional relationships, from our inner resilience to our social success, then it is possibly the single most important skill for survival. This book is a collection of the building blocks of emotional intelligence and how to cultivate them. It represents the collected wisdom from the now ten-year-old School of Life, an institute founded by Alain de Botton and dedicated to understanding and improving our emotional intelligence. Thought provoking and engaging, this book is a mixture of philosophical insight and practical wisdom.
Fiction Recommendation
The Burning Girl – Claire Messud – New York Times best-selling author
If, like me, you like novels that are character-driven, you will enjoy this poignant story of friendship. Cassie and Julia have been friends since they were at nursery school. They do EVERYTHING together until they graduate to high school and even though there is no official argument, like many friendships they drift apart. While Julia has a secure home, Cassie’s upbringing is troubled. A highly relatable coming-of-age story about the importance of family support in childhood and the teenage years. Suspenseful and surprising in places, it is compelling and sad but beautifully related.
The podcast I’m Listening to: Tara Brach
Tara is a long time favourite of mine, offering deeply insightful dharma talks and meditations. If I am feeling overwhelmed, a walk by the sea as I listen to Tara Brach always helps me to restore balance. She is particularly strong on dealing with fear and operating from love. Her podcasts have always been indispensable to me but especially so during the darker days of the lockdown. You should also check out her RAIN mindfulness exercise. The acronym stands for Recognise, Allow, Investigate and Nurture.