Every parent’s biggest worry is that they are unable to help or support their child and none more so than when your child is overly anxious and you just don’t know where it came from and what to do to help!
Dr. Malie Coyne’s book Love In, Love Out is a practical and compassionate guide for all parents or guardians. What I love most about Malie’s book is that it is real! There is no bullshit in this book. She gets right down to the nitty gritty of what anxiety is, how it affects us and explains in simple language that even a child will understand. It takes the taboo out of what anxiety actually is – a natural survival mechanism that our brain signals to us when we believe we are in danger.
For many of us including myself over the years, I had been on high alert and my anxiety developed into something more serious. Only when I understood how my body was responding to my thoughts and fears, did I learn to respond differently to the believed threats and became more aware of how I was reacting to them for most of my life. Malie writes:-“The brain continually prepares itself for the future based on what has previously happened, and these past experiences strongly influence how we understand what we see and feel in the present”
Malie explains in detail the causes of anxiety and how as parents showing ourselves more compassion we can be less reactive to our anxious child. She goes on to write how compasson reduces our fear and how compassion-focused therapy can help us learn to manage our emotions and nurture our relationship with ourselves and others. She breaks down the Compassion Focused-Therapy and helps us recognise where we are not giving enough or too much attention to.
She goes on to write about how tough it is for parents to see our children struggle, but struggle is part of life development and helps build resilience. We can’t fix everything for them!
This book is a must have for everyone that is a caregiver for children. Malie gives you self-care tools and tips, relaxation techniques for you and your child, and what I love most is the action steps Malie gives us a road-map on our journey of practical and compassionate parenting. Malie writes:-“Parents are the most important agents for change in helping their children overcome difficulties with anxiety”
I will be recommending this book to all my clients and all my friends, Malie has broken down the barrier of mental well-being and how important it is to recognise in ourselves as parents that we cannot help our children if we do not help ourselves first.
Go out and get your copy. It will be a book that you will refer to and use time and time again.
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