We all experience pain at times, some incredibly more significant than others depending on what’s going on in our lives. Pain is part of the human condition, and the first noble truth of the Buddha is: the truth of suffering. Sounds grim, doesn’t it? It’s true though but it seems that we may be in denial or possibly just looking from the wrong direction. We experience suffering everywhere we go, from the slight dissatisfaction of missing the bus, to the annoyance of not getting what we want, to the full on pain of losing that which we love deeply.
Obviously, life is full of incredibly rich moments too. Life is spectacular, a real wonder and a true gift. But by dismissing what we hold aversion to in ourselves and the world, and only validating that which brings us pleasure, we are actually cutting off a huge amount of energy that can potentially be used for awakening, almost like sawing off our leg because it won’t stop giving us trouble, rather than dedicating ourselves to proper physio treatment so we can use our full body in the future.
Basically, harnessing all of our energy, both the good and the bad, can be a huge tool in developing our awareness. Obviously, it’s natural to say no to our negative energy, our irritation, our fear, our annoyance about our neighbour who won’t stop playing crap music at night, or the one we all like to avoid, our pain. When we experience these energies, we shut down and armour up. We don’t want to open. We all carry some form of pain from events in our lives, losing someone we dearly loved, the death of a parent, the heartbreak of a romance gone sour, the fear of never being good enough, or feeling that we just can’t keep up with the ever-accelerating competition for recognition in the modern world, leading to burnout and exhaustion for many.
I’ve come to realise that where there is hurt, there is opportunity for transformation. The alchemical process of turning our negative energy into positive energy and transforming our fears and pains into freedom and joy is a gift available to all of us, providing we are willing to dig deep and touch the centre of our pain with plenty of honesty, kindness and a non-biased attitude of mind, and sometimes with good supports around us if the pain is too much to handle alone.
Usually, we all have something that binds us, something that holds us back from living the life we know we are meant to live. Whatever that is, it’s the exact thing that, if we take a deeper look without all of our usual presumptions, we might just find the treasure hidden inside of it, setting us on a path to true freedom. Or as Joseph Campbell put it; ‘The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.’
For me, an acute fear of loss from childhood kept me trapped and wouldn’t allow my heart to expand properly which I talk about a little more in this article. This may happen to a lot of people, but under the microscope of mindfulness and meditation, it became clear that its effects on my life were bigger than I could ignore. Resisting and denying any pain was my speciality but it wasn’t until I entered the Buddhist path that I had to get real. Denial of pain is a temporary fix and only prolongs our movement towards real joy, real love. True honesty is a beautiful thing, and in that truth our heart shines and our soul soars, setting us free.
Connecting with the pain within is an immensely transformative process and our intuitive sense towards inner freedom is a priceless ally in helping us to recognise what it is that we need to pay attention to. If we bring conscious awareness to our pain, stay there gently and don’t resist it, miracles can happen. It can change all on its own with our sustained attention, as a result of not distracting ourselves from it or denying its existence.
Truly recognising its validity and being there fully for it opens the door to genuine healing, which in turn is a catalyst for awakening. Our pain is not our enemy, it’s actually our raw material for transformation. How amazing. That which we usually shove away is the exact stuff we need to wake up our hearts and minds.
In essence, we have everything we need to walk this path of expansion, no matter how we are. If we turn away from our pain, we’re turning away from the truth. Rest with your pain, don’t fight it, don’t wage war with it, don’t make it an enemy. Suffering ceases to be suffering if we recognise it. Don’t deny it. Open up to it. Be there for it. Get to know it. Be intimate with it. Become friends with it. Once the fear of it is gone, its hold over us is gone. We are free and more awake than ever.
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