There are many things that you learn as you grow up. Many of them are culturally ingrained and have been in embedded in the psyche of the nation for decades, similarly when it comes to how men are supposed to be. Do that job, fit that box, be this, live up to that, when are you getting on the property ladder…
It runs very deep. This ideal conditioned societal expected plan. Don’t upset the script because then we can’t put you in a box and then what? Where will my point of reference be? How can I judge you? How can I measure myself against you in the hierarchy?
All these beliefs I believe have had a terrible effect on the modern Irish man. No longer, rightly or wrongly, do we even have the dated and antiquated template of own forefathers. We have nothing. No point of reference. No guiding principles or moral compass, a learned ambivalence to events and people.
We are completely surrounded by the societally accepted and emotionally destructive crutch of that most ingrained of Irish answers to our problems. Alcohol has remained in our culture, and has now in my opinion become a far greater beast than ever before. Weekly binge drinking is totally accepted in our world. This is eating away at us on an individual and collective level. But it has also been joined by new things that are having a detrimental effect on modern Irish men.
The first of these is hard-core pornography. Never before has it been so accessible, graphic, violent and damaging to the soul of a man. All men at a deep level crave love and intimacy with a woman (or man) and this can be completely stunted and destroyed by hard-core violent pornography which objectives women. We are eradicating feeling and those deeper emotions with masturbation and ‘performance’ sex. This is hurting us all.
Many modern Irish men, even though they crave it deeply, don’t know how to relate to women sexually and emotionally. As men, we have to look at this together so we can learn how to express and experience our need for sex, love, emotional connection, a want to protect (and at times be protected), and animalistic primal urges for passion and deeper feelings that can be communicated healthily with our partners.
After this the next thing I see as most damaging to the soul of the modern Irish man is social media. We now have this barrier that we put between ourselves and other people, both male and female, young and old. We miss so much. We look at the world through a 3 inch screen and take selfies and pointless pictures of literally nothing, all when we could just put down the phone, and take in the whole experience of life.
Of course there are some benefits to social media, but I think the cons outweigh the pros. What do people think of me? Do I look good? How am I perceived? By those out ‘there?’ Who cares. There are people sitting in front of you that you may love and care about, and because of social media you aren’t engaging with them in reality. Put the phone down and have a real conversation, which many modern Irish men are finding it harder and harder to do as they are being slowly stunted in social growth. Their vocabulary and ability to hold a conversation is changing or slowly going altogether. We are a nation of literary geniuses, Yeats, Joyce and Wilde being reduced to a babbling incoherent avalanche of cliche’s.
These things; alcohol, porn and social media in my opinion are the most detrimental and damaging challenges the soul of the modern Irish man faces. They don’t have to be however. There is a way when these things are recognised, named and acknowledged that they can be addressed and Irish men can go on a have a truly positive, healthy, and fulfilling life. But only if Irish men accept and acknowledge these issues on a personal level, as we all need to take responsibility and look at our own relationship with these three factors. It helps to discuss them together also.
Man craves feeling, love and freedom. If he is given freedom in every sense of the word, amazing things will happen for him and society.
Support Our Campaign
We rely on the generosity of the public to fund our work and so far together we have achieved great things! Please do continue to support us so we can provide future generations in Ireland with the resources to recognise and talk about their emotions, and equip them to navigate the ever-changing world around them as they grow
