One of the upsides as a result of the lockdown is that my small family make much more time for each other now. When we are together we sit down and don’t take calls or check messages. We are now practising something we already intrinsically knew, that there is nothing more important than each other.
Previously, my dad, being the only male in the family, would often sidle away when I called in as the conversation between me, my mum and sister would inevitably turn to hair and fashion. He would excuse himself muttering that he would “get all the news from our mother”. Now, however, he lingers and we discuss things that are, well…more interesting. Although I do have to confess I still love hair and clothes!
This week, my Dad inquired as to how I was getting on with writing my book and the impending deadline at the end of the month. As a mature writer, he is both a great support and a source of endless wisdom. We were chatting about listening, the central theme in one of the chapters in the new book, and he told me about the phenomena known in French as ‘L’ esprit de l’escalier’ which literally translates as, ‘the staircase mind’ and originates from the long stairwells you find in Parisian homes. It is used to describe that feeling of finding the words you wanted to say or ‘should have/could have said’ only when you have reached the bottom of the stairs, in other words, when it is too late.
This understandable, yet uncomfortable feeling can emerge when we have not been listening to someone properly. When we are actively engaged and compassionately listening to each other the words flow more naturally at the time you need them, in the room at the top of the stairs, metaphorically!
The picture above is taken of my dad. He worked for RTE Radio 1 for many years presenting an arts programme and I used to love hearing his beautiful, strong voice coming over the airwaves.
As parents get older we often have a sense that time is running out and each moment spent with them is precious. Don’t wait until you are ‘at the bottom of the stairs’ to say how you feel or to make time for the people that matter in your life.
And to think, I hadn’t even realised that Sunday was Father’s Day!
On Wednesday (24th June) I am delighted to join a webinar panel entitled, ‘Building Employee Resilience and Leadership in a Crisis’ which is organised by YALA Recruitment Agency and includes experts from DCU and Trinity College. The event is FREE and you can register here on Eventbrite.
I am delighted by the large influx of new subscribers to my limited FREE offer for the online program, The Positive Habit and am truly grateful to those of you who have donated; it truly does help you to value the course. If you register for it please be sure to follow it as it will really help you. Thanks to the client below for the latest 5-star review.
“Amazing program. I have learned so much about myself and some wonderful techniques to practise. I love the MP3s. I definitely recommend this program. Thank you Fiona”
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