Being optimistic in life is a beautiful thing, but just like your weekend Fireball shots, it works best in moderation. Monday through Friday, 9 am to 5 pm, we often play the roles of happy, positive, outgoing people, who don’t get fazed by life’s occasional sh*ttiness. We pretend every challenge is a non-existent ploy to throw us off of our games, and we continue keeping our heads well above the water. Well, sometimes, the best thing to do is let ourselves sink.
10. Your breaking point is your solo journey. No outside feedback allowed.
What happens to you when you break down is your own journey, and if part of that journey is hung up on what other people think and advise, you need to walk away immediately and shut the door.
Our entire lives are based on outside feedback and contributions that were never truly welcome in the first place. Why let someone else’s opinions dictate your life, especially now? When you feel like you’ve reached a breaking point, something beautiful happens: You begin to listen to yourself, your own truth and your own suffering — that’s where healing begins.
9. Giving yourself time first is never a selfish act.
Losing your sh*t forces you to detach from things and people who no longer serve you. Disconnecting becomes that much easier because you’re finally thinking about yourself, and you don’t feel one bit selfish. Hold on to that feeling. Taking care of yourself, for the first time in a long time, is the best thing you can give yourself. Don’t apologise for it.
8. Don’t cover up your sadness with an even sadder version of happiness.
Throw optimism out. If you feel like sh*t, admit it. Don’t walk around on eggshells. What are you protecting yourself from? Yes, sometimes everything sucks. To try and justify that with a lame excuse or cover it up and remain positive is to push that restless feeling even further down. Sit with it. Let it sink in, and understand it’s all okay, and perhaps it’s happening for a reason.
7. Don’t apologise.
You’re not broken; you’re simply out of order. Don’t apologise for that. We’re not machines that keep going no matter what. We have feelings, emotions, problems, and thoughts that sometimes spiral out of control. We need time to re-evaluate, rethink, and regroup. We need time to heal.
There will always be people in your life who expect you to keep moving forward, even when the thought of doing so depresses the hell out of you. Don’t apologise to them for not living up to their expectations. Take the time you need to figure out if those expectations have any room in your life (they most likely won’t).
6. Remain where you are. There is no due date.
You can go through the motions, but if you’ve reached the point where all you want to do is snuggle up with your dog and cry, then do that! Don’t feel like you have to rush back to this super-important life and live. You are living! Losing your sh*t is living, and while it might not be fun, it’s damn important. We think if we’re not working, studying, driving, or vacationing, we’re not living. Doing nothing is a part of life. Hitting rock bottom is that cruel part of life that teaches you that all of the working and driving and “living” is nothing compared to what you need to do with your life in this present moment. Just be.
5. Let it out.
Curse, yell, cry, journal, talk to yourself. When you break down, your heart is full of emotion. Your mind, on the other hand, is full of words. Those words are like anchors that weigh you down to the bottomless pits of crap. There is no reason in the world why you should hold on to them. When you verbally speak your problems, your body releases tension like you’ve never felt before. It can be incredibly difficult to speak your truth. There are thoughts in your head you’ve hidden from yourself for years. Confronting them won’t be easy, but speaking them out loud will release you from the prison you think you’re in. It turns out, you’ve had the key to that prison all along.
4. Stop thinking in future time.
There is no better way to make yourself feel even sh*ttier than to try and figure out your future steps. Don’t crowd your mind. What will happen in the future will happen, no matter how hard you try to control it. When you push yourself to the next step, next goal and next future event, you take yourself out of the present moment. After all, at the end of the day, all you have left is the present.
3. Feel what it feels like to be vulnerable.
From personal experience, feeling vulnerable can be extremely scary. That’s the point. When you’ve hit your low, the layers of pretending start to fall away. You’re no longer the strong, independent, logical person you once were. You’re now an emotionally-overwhelmed puddle of tears who has no strength or desire to please anyone else but yourself. Being vulnerable means being open, honest and exposed. It means not holding on to any preconceived notion of what you think you should be and, most importantly, not giving a flying f*ck about what anyone else thinks of you.
2. Believe that even this happens for a beautiful reason.
Nothing is accidental. When you think you’ve lost everything you’ve known, you somehow gain something you never knew you needed. It’s easy to get wrapped up in concerns and worries, but to have faith in the bigger picture means you’re willing to surrender your sorrows because you’ve done the best you can.
1. Find beauty in the breakdown.
It’s there. It always is. It’s not about replacing sadness with happiness. It’s about acknowledging and welcoming the sadness because you’re human and it’s f*cking okay to not be okay sometimes. Losing control and falling apart can be a true blessing when you realise we’re not meant to control or stay intact forever. Sometimes, falling apart helps you put the pieces back together in a different order and find peace you didn’t see before.
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