It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
The Late Late Toy Show has aired and been placed on the player, Christmas FM is on the airwaves and since well before Halloween we’ve been subject to the vast Christmas consumerism with shops displaying their seasonal wares. We are well and truly into the swing of Christmas 2019 and in an ever increasing world of sustainability, vulnerability and just being sound to ourselves, others and the world we live in, what can be different about the holidays this year?
The joy in the simple
Each year it comes in thick and fast and while the excitement grows, so too does the anxiety and stress of this pressurised holiday. The Christmas party organisation, the demand to ‘opt-in or suffer FOMO’, the Kris Krigle, the Insta-perfect decorated homes, the “oh so fab” Christmas outfit with matching ones for the kids and a bow tie for the dog, the annual family Christmas card snap personifying perfection, the likes, comments, shares; an ever amounting burden while we’re all blinded by the lights of the selfie flash.
What the Toy Show taught us this year was the beauty in the simple. The €20 charity shop haul, the books and jigsaw puzzles reminding us of fun, inexpensive options. No flashy gadgets or expensive technology, just wholesome, affordable fun. The true message of Christmas shone through in the annual show as it brought together families, shined a light on kindness and the true gift we all have in spending time with our loved ones.
Presence is the true present at Christmas and one which we could all care to remember as we scroll through our social feeds. We relive others lives through a screen, often forgetting our own is playing out all around us if only we took time to experience it.
The present of presence
This December at A Lust for Life, we are promoting we all ‘just be a friend’. Forget the strain of spending a month’s wage on gifts while equally unburdening others to do the same. Embrace simplicity. Buying a loved one a Christmas gift is a lovely and thoughtful thing but also remember the real gift is the gift of friendship. Spend your time rather than too much money, enjoy mutual encounters which will be beneficial for everyone. Give a listening ear to someone who might be lonesome or struggling. Be present while having a face-to-face conversation with the phones stored away. In giving a bit more of ourselves to each other, we embrace what truly matters; the emotional connection and shared experiences.
These shared experiences have taken a new meaning in being shared on social media, not in person. As a result, we see a lot more of everyone’s lives but less of everyone. However, we only see a fraction; the perfect picture moments, the repeated shots of the same thing before it looks just right and we’re happy to post, the chosen, crafted reality. It screams inauthenticity however we become guilty of soaking it up and repeating the cycle.
‘Tis the season to be pressurised and unsociable
There is a playful element in posting these photos and there is nothing wrong with showing your enjoyable experiences. We post the perfect outfit photo, the laughs with the gang, the cocktails, the decorations worthy of Santa’s grotto, the dinner of food magazine quality, the mountain of presents with the most expensive ones to the fore, the diamonds and the happiest of families. We showcase our best selves, living our best lives.
What we don’t show is what we all know is happening behind the screen; the reality of what we all live but don’t all share. The sickness from drinking too much, the week of fear that follows the Christmas sesh, the stress from not being able to afford presents, the isolation in not feeling up to socialising, the guilt from not being able to meet friends, the broken Christmas lights you can’t afford to replace, the burnt turkey, the fights with family, the anxiety of going to visit the family you don’t get along with, the depression felt while scrolling and seeing what an amazing time everyone else is having then feeling like you’re the only person not having a good time.
There is no condemnation of sharing the good times, there is the opportunity for compassion to reach out to those you know might not be in the best place. In the age of constant connection, we need to use this to bridge the isolation gap to “just be a friend”. This could be posting that photo of the gang on the night out but making sure to call the person who cancelled to make sure they’re ok. Show off the outfit, the cocktails the fun but reaching out the next day to the friend who you know suffers quite badly with hangover anxiety. Post the family photos and also call the loved one who might have felt like not joining in, or the friend who may be alone this year.
Just be a friend
By just being a friend, we connect on the personal level we need for basic survival. Gifts are nice, gifs are funny, but friendship, empathy and love are what make us whole. Instagram isn’t real but sitting beside someone who has had the shittest year while they share their feelings creates a wonderful shared reality. Being conscientious, being kind, just being sound to others is what Christmas is really about. By all means buy your presents, post your photos, but post a card, post a letter, pick up the phone and arrange a date.
If Tom and Sophia taught us anything on the Toy Show it’s the beauty of authenticity, the importance of vulnerability, the impact of kindness and the pure joy in family and friendship.
Ideas for friend dates this Christmas
- Call to each other’s houses – this is a great way to spend cosy, quality time without spending a fortune. You can drink ample amounts of tea, watch a movie, make microwave popcorn with any amount of salt and butter or just sit and chat.
- Go for hot chocolate – there’s always that one place that makes the most delicious hot chocolate. Enjoy a natter over your guilt free treat. Always say yes to marshmallows and a flake.
- Get handsy – spend a day baking, or knitting. Not only are these super therapeutic activities but you’ll go home at the end of the day with something wonderful you created together. Not to mention the memories to last a lifetime.
- Go to a museum – these are mostly free and offer a really calming, unique way to spend a day. Learning while having fun!
- Go for a walk – there’s nothing more soothing than being out in nature. Go to the park, the woods, the beach; anywhere close to you that offers beautiful, tranquil surroundings. It’s the perfect place to press that reset button.
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