I see you. I hear you. Your struggle is real. We’re living in a time of uncertainty and for you, the rollercoaster of uncertainty continues to wind around and around.
Fear, guilt, worry, sadness, frustration and disappointment may be just some of the emotions bubbling up for you now. These emotions are valid and a reminder that this is a hard time for you but also a reminder that you’re not alone. I work with many students and something that each of them has in common is the belief that “no one else feels like I do” when in fact 99 per cent of the young people I support are feeling the same way “alone”. You’ve more in common than you realise. You’re not alone and we’re all here to support you.
Let’s have a chat about the things that might be worrying you and find some solutions to your problems.
What are the things that you can’t control right now?
Unfortunately, you can’t control how the Corona Virus multiplies or how it shows up in people. You can’t control if the virus will return in July again and affect the planned LC exam dates. You can’t control who gets sick and who doesn’t. You can’t control what will be reported on the news or the radio each day.
The LC exams dates are ultimately decided on by the Department of Education and unfortunately, you can’t control when this will happen. You also can’t control if the exams will be easier or harder this year.
You can’t control when college courses will commence and no one really knows the exact answer to this right now. It’s complicated, right? We’re all powerless to when things will resume as normal.
Right now, you can’t control whether or not you will get a break before you start college after your exams, what date your debs will be on or when you’ll have your formal graduation from school. It’s very likely all of these things will happen but we don’t know when exactly. I’ve no doubt that the Dept of Education is taking all of these factors all into their considerations. It could be worth reaching out to your school to see if they have any more information about this if you feel you need more clarity.
Now the things you can control right now: the positive news is that there are lots of things!
The Corona Virus: there’s lots you can control about this. You can control how much you respond to the restrictions that are in place. You can control how likely you are to get the virus by washing your hands and sticking to the guidelines in place. You can control how much news you watch or radio you listen to and therefore how much you expose yourself to talk about the virus. If you find the Corona chat overwhelming, you can take a step back and limit how much you tune into.
How you manage your thoughts and your mood: Yes you can learn ways to control your thoughts. If you practice becoming more aware of the kinds of thoughts and emotions that are showing up each day, you will be more able to manage them. You could use a journal to write them down each day. You could also check in with someone you trust and share them. Jigsaw also have a free phone service for young people. Maybe you could draw a picture each day to describe how you’re feeling in your mind. Check-in with your thoughts:
Are they helpful and serving a purpose?
Are they mean or kind?
Are they catastrophising (worst case scenario) thoughts?
We often have this idea that if we don’t share a thought or write it down it will go away, but this usually isn’t the case, it seems to only add fuel to the fire and make them worse. By acknowledging them you’re being true to yourself and owning your emotions. Sometimes I tell myself “Michelle, I hear that your anxious about the work you’ve to do, that’s valid. It’s okay to feel anxious”. Maybe you could give it a go?!
Another thing you might try is challenging your thoughts. For example, If you’ve noticed that you’re worried about the exams being postponed again you could ask yourself “how useful is this thought? Can I control the outcome right now? If you find that it’s out of your control you could practice saying or writing “hey I hear you worrying thought but you’re not useful or helpful right now so I’m going to do x,y,z instead”. Often dedicating a certain time in your day to “worry time” can be helpful. That way you acknowledge your worries but don’t let them take over your day.
Practicing mindfulness over time can be great way to observe your thoughts without reacting to them, just like passing clouds. Bressie offers live mindfulness sessions on his Instagram account each night or you could try my short video either.
How you manage your body: Lots of studies tell us the body and brain are linked so if you can learn and practice ways to calm your body it’s likely that your mind will feel a little better. You could try slower movement activities like stretching, yoga, pilates or maybe you’d prefer something that requires your body to move faster such as boxing, running or dancing. There’s no right or wrong form of movement it’s what works for you. Try different activities. It’s often suggested to try movement in the mornings so that you’re releasing anxiety from the body early in your day. Try it and see how you go! If you’re new to yoga check out anchortherapy.ie for some short yoga practices and grounding strategies.
Also, think about the nourishment you’re providing your body. Eating a varied diet and drinking plenty of water can also be really helpful. Maybe try eating one new vegetable each week or drinking an extra glass of water a day.
Your routine: check out my video on LC routines if you learn better through listening and watching.
It can be useful to map out your week and then have a think about what times in the day you feel more anxious or calm. Identify some changes you might like to make to your routine. This can be a small change like getting up 30 mins earlier each day or spending 2 mins a day practising breathing. Look at your weekly schedule and see if you spend time engaging in:
Relaxing activities: mindfulness, breathing, quiet time
Exercise or outdoor activities
Healthy sleep habits
Social and fun time
Study time
The more balance you can find in your week the better you will feel. Easier said than done though right? I get it and that’s why I always encourage people to take small steps if they want to make a change. Maybe set a realistic goal in one of the above areas and practice it for the new few weeks and observe how it helps you. For example, if you’re low in energy you could focus on healthy sleep habits by going to bed earlier and switching off your phone at 11pm. If your concentration is an issue you could practice taking more study breaks throughout the day. If you’re feeling sad or lonely you might work on reaching out to someone or planning more fun activities in your week. Consistency is the key. Good luck!
This is an uncertain and frustrating period for many. Always know that you’re not alone in your journey. You’re doing the best that you can right now and sometimes that is enough. It’s possible that making changes is too hard for you right now, it’s brave to recognise that this is the way it is for you. Maybe chatting to a healthcare professional might be something to think about.
Keep reaching out and asking questions and remember that and that this too shall pass.
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