“I need to recognise the Donald Trump in me”

I’m currently in my second year of my Masters in Mindfulness-Based Interventions, and some of my deepest learning has come through the group discussions between peers and teachers during class. The group of people I have gone through this journey with are the very definition of good energy. Big hearts, big minds and big thinkers, and I learn something from each and every one of them every time I am in their company.

Sometimes the conversations are philosophical, sometimes psychological, scientific, cultural but always interesting and entertaining. Although we all come from different backgrounds and professions, the one common denominator we all share is why we are there. To help ourselves navigate the chaos of this world – and to hopefully help others, too.

Last weekend, one of my colleagues during a relatively deep conversation about Buddhist psychologies and how relevant they are in today’s society, said something that hit me square between the eyes. I suppose she put into language what I had been thinking for a while. Talking about the importance of relationships and how we treat those we love in the midst of all the madness of this world we live in, she said “I need to recognise the Donald Trump in me”. I immediately wrote this down in my incoherent journal (sorry Mr Naly, my handwriting never improved from 6th class).

Being exposed to the gargantuan level of hate, racism, anger, vitriol, apathy, aggression, lies, violence etc…even to the most level-headed of us can seriously impact our perception of ourselves and the world around us. Not only the normalisation of these actions and language, but the rate at which we consume it, and its capacity to spread (and the part we play in this).

Bringing it back to myself, over recent times I have noticed something at times that I am really uncomfortable with. Something that does not align to my morals or values (which are things I hold very close). Speaking words that judge or hurt, taking people who I love for granted, snapping at friends or family, egocentrism, myopic selfishness, lies, toxic behaviour etc…You see we all do things in our lives that may not align to our morals or values – not because we are bad people, because we are often so unaware of our actions. So caught up in ourselves and what we are doing that we can’t see beyond our own lens and perception of the world.

I have thought about this for many months now, and have spoken to many people about it. I have theorised and analysed why we at times blindingly fall away from the construction of our values. Without these values, we have nothing. They are the key ingredients in every dish of life we make, from relationships, to work, to love and respect – and yet we can all so often have a pick-n-mix approach to how we implement them.

Perhaps there is an element of self-preservation. As fear is literally force-fed into us at every conceivable sensory point of contact, maybe we have understandably reverted to looking after ourselves and ignoring the needs of others around us, a micro-version of nationalism. Maybe in a world that at times seems to be normalising the diminishing of morals and values we are simply just emulating that.

Maybe this binary bullshit that we have created through ‘divide and conquer’ tactics is driving people apart at a time when we need to figure out how we come together in a world that seems fragmented, and deeply wounded. I recently put a fairly simple and benign post on twitter asking cyclists to please put lights on their bikes to protect themselves. Being a cyclist myself I am hugely aware of how vulnerable we are on the roads. This quickly became a battle ground between drivers and cyclists each shouting at each other about rules of the road etc. The outrage and anger provided a haze over the clarity of the conversation – and the real casualty was rational and helpful debate. This is a very simple example, but apply this to politics in its current guise. Binary politics suits politicians because they now just have to pick a side with the loudest and most representative voice. This is not a sustainable approach to progress and is a core reason why fascism is gaining momentum across the world.

Throw into the mix the lessening relevance of context in our society. We became angry and reactive to headlines rather than context. We believe a few short sentences on a social media post can provide enough context to provoke outrage. We assume if someone else has a different opinion to us that we should hate them, or shout them down. I have learned through experience that debating and creating dialogue is a not only better for progress but it actually makes me feel better about myself that I listened to other points of view and sculpted my opinion in that way. The media have to recognise their influence in this regard. At the end of the day they have jobs to do and targets to reach but we all have a part to play here.

Truthfully though, these are just opinions , I cant speak for anyone else except myself in this regard. The Donald Trump in me is born out of my lack of awareness of me. I have become so connected to the outside world of which I have no control over, that I have lost control over what I do actually control. How I treat people and how I act. This is my responsibility. No one else’s. I have become utterly overwhelmed by the actions and words of others that I have ignored the impact of my own behaviours and words. I have even found myself cognitively justifying these toxic actions in order to diminish the level of guilt I was experiencing. I think we can all recognise this in ourselves at times. This does not make us bad people, but perhaps it’s a sign that we should become more aware of ourselves. Perhaps even place this awareness of the incredible amount of good stuff that is going on in the world. For every act of sorrow, there is a million acts of love. For a real view into the instinct of humanity watch them in a crisis. We revert back our values and primal instinct to help people cause you know what “people are sound’, but in recent times kindness seems to be a radical rather than a normal act and we have to find a way back to that.

Mindfulness provides me with the vehicle to create this awareness. Rather than be lost in my own subjectivity, it allows a wider objective view where I can recognise whether I am slipping away from my values and sacrificing my morals. It creates a space in an otherwise at times suffocating world that can makes us slaves to its agenda. It allows me understand what is within my control and what indeed is not and this in turn provides me with a choice. I struggle with this, as do many seasoned meditators, but that is the point. Becoming more mindful rather than to continue down the road of mindlessness every day allows me recognise the Donald Trump in me. And with this recognition I can stay closer and more aligned to the values that my parents, family, friends have helped instil in me.