I’m a very happy content person at the moment because I’ve made good decisions and worked hard to be where I’m at right now, but I wasn’t always. I wasn’t ready to post this. I don’t think anyone ever is. I was going to wait a week or two, or maybe forever. But goddamn it after seeing how fabulous our government have been at ignoring Mental Health and depleting its funding, I don’t really know what I’m waiting for.
The hashtag #IAmAReason is going around because 12 million euros are being taken from the mental health funding and being put into other areas of healthcare. Is this our government’s way of telling us mental health isn’t a problem?
I could go on a rant. I’m not going to go on a rant about our government. I don’t want to make this about politics and our silly government because it goes so much deeper than that. This problem with stigmatising depression, and even stigmatising the word ‘stigmatising’ because of its association with mental health, that runs through our everyday lives is harrowing. People can’t speak up. Talking about feelings is not condoned, especially for men, and when women do speak up they’re often called over dramatic or whiny. I’ll probably be called that too because I’ve a voice I’m now willing to use.
I wrote a bit of a poem a while ago because I was suffering badly from something with the big scary name of ‘depression’, and most people don’t know that. My story isn’t unique, there are millions of us in the world who suffer in silence because mental health is still a taboo issue and we’re made feel so isolated. I made a little video to go with this poem because visual storytelling is what I’m focused on at the moment. I made it before all this crap went down in the Dáil, and the couple of people who’ve seen it already know that I’m extremely hesitant about sharing it because it’s socially unacceptable to speak about your feelings, past or present.
This video/poem thing is more about the labels people with depression are given and basically my way of venting frustration. I didn’t know about this funding business when I filmed and I didn’t think I’d be sharing so soon, but I feel like I have to now.
Every single problem in our world comes down to education, or lack thereof. What people don’t understand, they fear, or they call ‘exotic’ or maybe even ‘romantic’. Depression is most definitely not exotic, it’s physically and mentally debilitating. Depression is not the romanticised portrayal of a young girl hurting herself and within the two hour span of a Hollywood film curing it all. And the fear people have of discussing the issue of depression is what’s causing it to be an epidemic.
Some people say part of the problem of depression is being unhappy with where you are, and knowing or feeling you should be doing something else. People NEED others to talk to about their dreams and wishes, their fears and worries. If you’re stuck in a rut and feel you have no one to speak to in your close circle of friends and family as I did for a long time- then the only option for people is professionals. And what are they going to do when there are less people to talk to?
We have a problem of suicide in this country, it’s a very real cause of death that outweighs others and most of the time is labelled as a selfish act of a coward. I don’t know how many more times people like me (basically anyone with a sense of logic) have to clarify that mental illnesses are very real ailments just like a cyst in an ovary or a crack in a femur. A brain can feel like there’s a cyst clambering off it and can feel as though cracks are forming in every cell but it’s dismissed because it’s not visible. Why must invisible equate to non-existent?
The reason I’m speaking about depression is because that’s what I have had experience with. If others have a light to shed on other disorders I urge you to do so. Conversations need to be started and continued. There’s always this great scurry and burst of action which slowly fizzles away until it’s reverted back to square 0 and we can’t afford to do that because doing so is killing people. Moms, dads, children, siblings, cousins, friends, chances are you have been affected or know someone who’s been affected by a mental illness. It attacks everyone. Religion, race, sexual orientation, gender don’t matter to a brain, all are affected and still people put each other into boxes without seeming to realise we’re all human and we all need to be compassionate and empathetic to everyone.
I didn’t expect this to get so long, but my friends know that once I get passionate about something, I’m not going to rest until it’s off my chest and out in the world. I’m going to stop now and hope this video helps shed just a little light on the struggle people with depression go through, and that’s before they get labels thrown at them, and ALWAYS keep an eye out for people around you. Even if they’re not your ‘friend’, sometimes all a person needs is a real smile in their direction or a word or two to remind them there’s still reason to be here.
Okay, I’m done for now. Hope you watch the video.
Fiadh Melina
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