Personal Stories

Part 2: How the Psychiatric Hospital Saved My Life

Justin Alan

By September 22nd 2017, the weight of living had pulled me to rock bottom. The new antipsychotic medicine was mostly handling the voices and delusions

Part 1: How Schizophrenia Changed Me

Justin Alan

After my psychological testing, I made a follow-up appointment with a therapist. I walked into the office, pale, wide-eyed and wary of all the invisible voices whispering to me as I notified the receptionist and sat down

“Your Dad only has 13 hours to live” – My battle with depression

Lauren Dowling

When I was 9 years of age, like any 9 year old, you would be out playing tip the can… or even with my Barbies at that age. For as long as I’ll live, I’ll never forget the day

How my family befriended and beat the Anxiety monsters

Sinead Flanagan

It’s challenging as a parent to watch your child struggle. To hear that nagging voice in your head which tells you that something is not right. There’s just something

Overcoming Agoraphobia

Wayne Power

Friday September 16th 2005 was the last time I set foot in Waterford city centre. Returning from living in Dublin, I was experiencing the early stages of agoraphobia, a condition that would haunt my life

Trichotillomania, Anxiety and Depression: I am more than these things

Ruth O’Hagan

When I was 9 years old my dad died in a car crash. That day my little heart broke. My heart felt like it had been physically ripped from my chest

Out of homelessness into hope

Mick Finnegan

My name is Mick Finnegan I'm 35 and I'm from Crumlin in Dublin. Initially life was good. I believed I grew up in what appeared to be a loving family. However my family were either using or selling drugs

My Lifelong Experiences With Mental Illness

Jessica

I have been affected and surrounded by mental illness my entire life. I was born to a mother with Bipolar II Disorder, and a father who at the time was an alcoholic

My Pieta House Journey

Amy Judge

I began my journey with Pieta House during the Autumn of 2016. I had heard of their amazing work over the years previous, but like most people with mental health disorders I never thought I was worthy of their support

The impact of Infertility and IVF on your Mental Health

A Lust For Life Reader

‘So when you are going to have a baby?’ You’re barely down the aisle and people are asking you this. As time goes on and you still haven’t had a baby people keep asking you

What You Can Do to Improve Your Body Image and Self Esteem

Sophia Smith

For the longest time, I thought that the only way I would ever be fully satisfied with myself meant being practically flawless in every aspect of my life

Dealing with grief

Louise Kane Buckley

The definition of grief is deep sadness - but grief is so much more than just sadness. We have all suffered loss in our life, be it a loved one, a miscarriage or simply the loss of a close relationship

Act 2

Jennifer Coleman

A while ago, Jennifer Coleman wrote for us about her struggles with depression. Since then, she had a setback, and writes today about what it’s like when depression returns

Finding the ‘Will’ to Live

A Lust For Life Reader

I was rooting around in my old handbags looking for some spare change for ice-cream, when I came across papers titled ‘Making A Will’. My mind instantly went back to that day in an old, dusty solicitor’s office

Self Care: Be Your Own Hero

Kate Malley

Self-Care, a term used frequently among the subject of mental health, but also a great thing for anyone to engage in. It's a term so broad, and yet so specific at the same time. If you get it right - it saves you - or more importantly

Hiding in plain sight – The paradoxes of a suicide

Aine Connellan

In the majority of cases it's nearly impossible to make sense of a suicide. Unless you are in that place yourself, you would think why on earth would anyone do that?

Challenging My Inner Bully

Ruth Anderson

When people talk about mental health, they often refer to an inner voice which is constantly belittling them. I think everyone has two voices inside them. I refer to mine as the cheerleader and the bully

Through the kalidescope lens of life

Judy Wong

I thought when I was seven years old that my life was going to be pretty perfect. I was into Walt Disney Cartoons and all things that simulated perfection in life. I was a girl who didn't see difference or race or see anything wrong

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

Amy Judge

A little about my journey. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder during the winter of 2016. Due to a breakdown I had experienced - anxiety, depression, insomnia all played a part in my diagnosis

Changing for someone else

A Lust For Life Reader

Growing up I had a distant and hard relationship with my father. My mum held the fort and did all the work for the family whilst my dad took the easy route and picked and chose when to see his children

Anxiety: The Reality

Andraya Tighe

Exams hit me like a whirlwind last week, and as a postgraduate student, I felt the pressure tremendously. I buckled down this semester and prepped in advance so I had nothing to worry about, or so I thought

Change is Possible: Here’s How

Brian Pennie

Many people seek to change their lives without changing what they do. The “person in a hole” metaphor describes this best: Consider a person who is lost in life, and aimlessly wanders into a field full of holes

Let’s talk black boulders….

Natalie Gavaghan

Black boulders, to me, I liken my Borderline Personality Disorder. First they attach themselves to you as tiny pebbles; you notice that things you previously enjoyed are being rubbished a little by tiny weights dragging you down

A Curious Beast

Trevor Moran

Perspective is a fickle bitch – make no mistake. She leaves us all at some point or another and everything seems bleak. The cereal tastes bland, there’s nothing on the telly, and jokes are just a mass of irritating sentences

Depression

John Lennon Cohen

This is a deep, dark, place that the mind takes you for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. A tortured mind, a tortured heart, and a tortured soul all of which make up your very being

We Deserve Better: My Story Through Depression

Gary Fitzgibbon

Gary Fitzgibbon shares his depression journey, and the problems he experienced with significant gaps in the mental health services in Ireland

Don’t lose hope

Sharon Fitzmaurice

I struggled at times last week, and felt so drained that my thoughts became confusing and a little negative. I was aware of this feeling, and spoke gently to myself as they arose

The Bombshell of Adulthood – My Story, Part 2

Aoife Commins

Aoife Commins shares part 2 of her personal story. Aoife is a mental health advocate and is about to do a head shave as a fundraiser for Pieta House

That was my lifesaver…

Aoife Commins

Aoife Commins shares her personal story of her struggle with anxiety and depression. Aoife is a mental health advocate and is about to do a head shave as a fundraiser for Pieta House

When the Fog Shifts

Lisa Walsh

The reason I have decided to write this now and not last year or next year, is because I feel strong emotionally and mentally now - and I credit this to being sober. The last four years of my life have been a bit of a rollercoaster…

If I broke my leg, I would talk about it

Ciara Traynor

Ever since I wrote publicly about my struggle with depression, I've wondered if people look at me differently. A lot of people told me that "I didn't seem the type" to have mental health issues

Resilience

Ciara O’Connor Walsh

I remember sitting on the edge of my bed looking at my sister Evie, with tears in my eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to be a good mother. I don’t know if I’ll cope. I don’t know if I can do the whole labour thing...”

Be Happy, It’s a Wonderful habit

A Lust For Life Reader

In my English class, we were given an interesting assignment. Write an essay called: ''Be Happy, It's A Wonderful Habit''. It interested me because many of my classmates struggled with the title

Four Years On

Charlotte Underwood

It’s been exactly four years and 10 days since my father’s suicide, that is over 2103795.06 minutes that I have spent wishing that I still had my best friend, my rock, my daddy. Four years ago, in this moment, I will have been searching

I swam in the Atlantic Today

Fiona Whelton

I swam in the Atlantic today. Well I say swam, really it was more of a dip. But for me, so long as the head goes in and I float, it counts. It all began last Christmas when my beautiful aunt Pauline gave me a gift of a little book

I like seeing both sides

Lucie Kavanagh

I am unsure what I think about the recent study led by researchers in Oxford University and the subsequent criticisms of their findings around antidepressants and their efficiency

When words are not enough: Art and my mental health

Jason Kearney

“I just don’t want to be alive”, was the most succinct way I could put it, when a friend asked me to describe how I was feeling

Someone Please Help Me, So I Did

Sharon Fitzmaurice

Last year I wrote for A lust for life before I published my first book ‘Someone please help me, so I did’, to share my story in the hope that it would help others to find the strength to share their stories and reach out for support

It’s not very good at all

Sarah Billington

A few weeks ago I was teaching a child in a one-to-one setting… well, I say I was teaching her, but the truth is that she and her beautiful family have taught me more about goodness and kindness in the time that I have known them

My experience of a toxic working environment and what got me through

Darren Kelly

It was supposed to be my career turning point. I felt elated when I got the news. My big break finally... and my family and wife were also delighted for me

From drug addiction to new life: How meditation helped me sober down

Emily Connor

I was just 14 when I smoked my first weed – I was at a party and all my friends were smoking up. I hesitated initially, but then I thought ‘What harm would one drag do?’

Mindful meditation: 4 ways it helped my drug and alcohol addiction recovery

Andy Macia

When mindful meditation was first suggested as a way of helping me recover from my addictions, my initial reaction was: okay, I’ll consider just about anything, but what exactly is it?

Flying solo – The challenges of Single Parenting and 3 things that help me day to day

A Lust For Life Reader

Tonight I felt like I was failing at this parenting thing. My son was late home, hadn’t answered his phone all evening, dinner was cold, my four year old daughter was in the bath

We need to talk – ‘I’m no longer ashamed to talk about having depression and accessing services.’

Jennifer Byrne

I have depression. I struggled to write that sentence, and I tried to phrase it in a nice flowery paragraph about being on my way out of a depressive spell etc

Finding meaning in the aftermath of childhood trauma

Aaron Galbraith

Through my own personal journey of trauma I have come to appreciate the possibility for personal growth that traumatic events can bring

Face to face with shame – Using DBT to face difficult emotions

Lucie Kavanagh

“In my view, suicide is not really a wish for life to end.' What is it then?' It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame...”

Breaking free after a separation – Some valuable lessons learned along the way

Ruth Fagan

This January as I carried out the tedious task of taking down our Christmas tree I was extra cautious with my ever growing supply of fairy lights

‘We are not broken, we’re human’ – Overcoming years of misdiagnosis and medication

Fiona Kennedy

‘Over the years I’ve come to recognise that depression is, and quite likely always will be to one extent or another, simply part of my life, part of who I am.’

Overcoming the shame of being gay

Darragh O’Boyle

I have always looked at myself negatively, harshly and unfavourably. For a long time I put this down to my looks, not handsome enough, not fit enough, causing me to be so self-aware which in turn caused deep rooted anxiety

Struggling with the grief of losing a loved one? Do more of what feeds your soul

Sarah Billington

It’s early January and I’m contemplating ‘The New Year’. I don’t really know how to feel about 2017 coming to a close and facing into a new year

Healing is an ongoing process – You can’t just abandon the process that pulled you out of...

Katie Quinlan

It’s always hard to experience the low points again. To return to incessantly checking your phone and shaking your legs, to question everyone’s motives

How struggling with separation and single parenthood brought me home to myself

Ruth Fagan

One year ago I began this article after returning from a weekend shared with friends which was both painful and deeply humbling

You have to cry out the sad to make room for the happy

Sarah Billington

When my friend’s Mam passed away a number of years ago, her little boy saw her trying to hold back the tears in front of him

Mojo Rising: ‘I thought of suicide as my only option until I found Mojo’

Daniel Morris

I have faced different struggles throughout most of my life, but it wasn’t until my forties I reached my lowest point. I had nothing left

Creating a new reality on the other side of abuse, fear, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts

Sharon Fitzmaurice

My story is like so many other people’s stories, in that I hid for years in the belief that no one else

Mojo Rising: ‘I couldn’t help his depression, as his wife I was simply too close.’

Kirstin Cunningham

Everyone has bumps in their relationships: moments where we fight, times when we disappoint, issues that frustrate us – and yet these are but small challenges we face as humans

Advice to the 15 year old me with Social Anxiety Disorder

Francis Cleary

I am 15 years old, quiet, anxious. I have just counted on my copy book during the last class in school how many days it would be until I would be finished secondary school forever

Overcoming severe anxiety and panic attacks to feeling calm, happy and brave

Sinéad McKiernan

The concept of “being aware” was not something that ever existed in my life. I was not aware of my thoughts, my emotions, and certainly not my breathing

Missing someone who’s still here: ‘I’ve lost my sibling, but never had an opportunity to grieve’

Tammy Darcy

On December 12th this year, my sister Shona will be 40 years old. Sadly, there will be no party

Crying into the saucepan

Nikki Hayes

Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex mood disorder. It is usually diagnosed between the ages of 30 and 39. I believe this will be diagnosed sooner as we become more educated about the symptoms

Living with scars – If self-harm could speak it would say “I hurt, I am hurting”

Lucie Kavanagh

There are so many sayings about scars. The ones that are popular are those that depict them as a sign of survival, of strength, or of having struggled but come out the other end

My anxiety and me

Darragh O’Boyle

My heart races, thoughts are rampant coming at me from all directions, tense shoulders, on edge, my breath is faster, my fists tighter, looking for the exit, will I bolt now, breathe Darragh, for the love of God relax

Understanding Selective Mutism – How a phobia of my voice shaped my life

DJ Sharry

My wedding was coming up. The choice of making a speech or not had been presented to me. I had decided to make a speech. I wanted to make a speech

Opening myself up to be vulnerable has made me a better leader

Lindsay Browning

We are all vulnerable. Fact! Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. Being vulnerable is being human. To be vulnerable is to be authentic

What I want my friends to know about my social anxiety

Deanna Michelle

I’ve always been known as the shy girl; the quiet girl who was too shy to talk to new people. Growing up I was the little kid who stood behind my mother’s legs

Depression: Calling it by its proper name

Doris Murphy

I have depression. It has taken some 11 years to admit that. I’ve “had low mood”, “not felt great”, “not been myself”, “been low energy”, “been a bit allergic” many times. But this year, when I felt low for longer than usual

An ex-member of An Garda Síochána’s story – Post-Traumatic Stress, Bipolar and me

A Lust For Life Reader

Cast your memory back to the year 2000. Were you were dancing like a Maniac to DJ Mark McCabe’s tune, working in your first job after university

Thank you Jenny Greene and the RTÉ Concert Orchestra for providing an escape from severe anxiety

Caitriona McMahon

Last weekend I attended my first music concert since developing Acute Anxiety Disorder some years ago

The first step: running toward mental health

Shauna Gold

In university, my boyfriend Samuel and all his friends raced bicycles. It was thrilling to be around them. At the time, I didn’t quite understand why; I couldn’t have put into words that what attracted me was their focus, their confidence

Sport is key in helping me manage my mental health

Rosa Shine

I’ve always enjoyed playing sports. Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve spent countless hours running around after a ball, either for soccer or Gaelic football

6 warning signs that your substance or alcohol abuse is getting out of control

Carl Towns

Though there’s nothing wrong with an occasional drink every now and then, there is a very thin line between enjoying some situations with alcohol or even drugs

Surviving childhood trauma and sexual abuse

Nick Groom

One of the most frequent questions I am asked when people contact our support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse is, “Will you tell me when I am better?”

For anyone with trauma – A practice that helped me un-numb my pain and release it

Philip Notaro

After working very intimately and personally with trauma over the past couple of years, I felt inspired to write a few words about this

The evolution of grief from losing my Dad at the age of 12

Louise O’Sullivan

Grief is like no other emotion I've felt because it isn't just one feeling. It's every feeling you can imagine, amplified. It can creep up on you some days in a quick burst

Knocked down by grief, I stood back up on a paddle board

Christina M Penney

Standing on Dollymount Beach in Dublin someone asked me, how did you start paddle boarding? I didn’t know what to say… Here is the real answer

Living outside the box – No longer breaking under the weight of my past

Lucie Kavanagh

When I was ten years old, someone I loved gave me a box. The box confused me. It was not a box for children. For one, it was far too heavy

Depression does not discriminate

Emma Norris

I was part of a loving and stable family. I was lucky to experience no trauma in my life. I was the captain of my school, club, and county. I was the leader of the Senior Concert Band. I was a young coach and referee

Therapy gave me understanding, but medication gave me control

Shane Ryan

With all of the great talk about Pieta House and breaking the mental health stigmas right now I thought it would be productive to write a brief piece about my experience

Surfing the Bipolar wave

Gavin T Murphy

After my last A Lust for Life article 10 upsides of Bipolar Disorder, I realised that I needed to examine the downsides too. However, this was not a dreary project as my main focus was to provide steps, hopes, and inspirations

When they found me that night, I had this note. I have rewritten it now, for you

Elaine Doyle

My boyfriend and I had just been to a gig in the O2 that night. It was his birthday and I had been granted a few hours leave after a few months in the hospital

Green Ribbon Month: I thought that I was made wrong because I couldn’t feel happiness

Zoe Forde

Zoe Alicia is an ambassador with See Change and is sharing her story in support of the Green Ribbon project

‘Someone will always care’ – Thank you to whoever left this note for me in a Dublin...

A Lust For Life Reader

Three years ago my life changed. I was just about to turn 30, had wonderful friends and family around me and a job I loved. But something just wasn’t right

No one in Ireland should have to wait 9 months to talk to someone

A Lust For Life Reader

As someone who has suffered from General Anxiety Disorder and depression for over 10 years (most of my adult life from the age of 19 to 30 years of age)

I nearly gave up on life but I’m so glad I didn’t

Keith Kelly

Being able to reflect on my life now from a place of good health and wellbeing I can see how I have often taken life for granted. I can see now that I was struggling with so many aspects of my life which I ignored

Finding a deeper understanding of my OCD as a result of reaching out for help

A Lust For Life Reader

From the outside I was your average male enjoyed sports, socialising and was doing well in work. On the inside, I was going through inner turmoil for many years

Even cancer roller-coaster journeys have silver linings

Liz Yeates

My breast cancer journey started back in September 2013. So as I write this article I am now ‘cancer free’ for almost 4 years

The deep loneliness of withdrawing from friends and family

David O'Connor

There has always been an air of simplicity about my presence in character. Despite the ambivertedness (qualities of both introversion and extroversion

A mindful journey with cancer – John’s story

Marie Keating Foundation

In June of 2016, John and his wife were looking forward to celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary when he noticed a small growth on his forehead. Within three days, John was told that he had a rare form of melanoma

Accepting the duality of anxiety

Laura McMahon

My name is Laura McMahon. I am not someone famous but I am someone you know. I am anxiety and depression personified. I own mugs that have a better handle than I do on life

Tackling anxiety and my fear of hospitals

Caitriona McMahon

It’s 10.42am as I sit in the cafe area of the University Hospital Limerick. The place is buzzing between the rattling of trolleys and the hum of conversation. I sit with the exit door strategically in sight as I double check

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