In today’s age, we’re surrounded by information that focuses on dealing with anxiety attacks, lowering stress levels, and living with depression. But what if you don’t know if what you’re feeling fits into those categories? This can sometimes make people think that what they’re feeling is illegitimate because it doesn’t have an assigned label. A lot of us are used to thinking that if we’re not diagnosed, it’s not that important.
I’m here to say that those things are not true. I’m here today to talk today to those “in-betweeners”, the people who have ongoing strings of bad days, but aren’t entirely sure what they’re experiencing.
More importantly, it’s important to address a few tips we can use to combat those bad feelings that come and go.
For the purposes of this article, we’re going to label those unidentifiable, vague string of emotions, “The Thing”.
1. Accept the fact that there’s something wrong
You don’t need to know what it is that is wrong, diagnose it, or figure out exactly what it is for now. Just be okay with admitting that there’s something different—even if it’s just as small as feeling life is off balance.
The problem with not being able to admit you are going through The Thing is that you always feel something is not quite right—but you just tell yourself it’s one bad day.
What happens when those bad days keep on recurring? You have to be okay with accepting there might be more than a few bad days here and there than you were originally expecting.
You are not invalid because you did not go to the doctor and get diagnosed. You are not invalid because you have lesser symptoms than those around you. This is not a competition. There is only one scale of measurement of how you should feel—that is a scale you compare with yourself and yourself only.
This is the only way you can put yourself in a state of mind where you can fight The Thing, and come out victorious.
2. Know when to be your own best friend sidekick
You know those chick flick movie scenes where the protagonist has just gone through a horrible break-up, or a mid-life crisis? It’s usually accompanied by a montage of their best friend trying to pull the Ben and Jerry’s away and get them out of bed.
Sometimes, you just need to be that best friend for yourself.
You are really the only person that can help you, at the end of the day. There comes a point when staying inside and isolating yourself becomes unhealthy. It can eventually progress to a point where you gradually push people away.
If someone asked you the question “Do you want your friends anymore or not”? You would probably say yes.
If someone asked you, “Do you want to see them right this second?” You might say no.
But you will continue to say no as long as you feel The Thing; at the same time, you don’t want to lose your friends. You need to push yourself to get out of the house so you can maintain your life in the long run. Think of it as a long-term investment.
The more you get yourself up and out the house, the easier it becomes.
3. Tell your significant other
If you have a significant other (SO), make sure they know. They don’t need to know everything—goodness knows you don’t—but they need to know something.
You might feel like a lot of things in your life are gloomy and gray, until your SO comes along. They’re perfect, and they seem like they’ll fix everything.
It’s like this in the while—and in the beginning, you feel like they actually got rid of The Thing.
But after a period of time, as your SO becomes more integrated into your life, they lose that “immunity” they seem to have and become just like any family or friend that might be indirectly affected by The Thing.
This isn’t because you’ve stopped loving or caring about them; it’s just because you’ve accepted your SO as a real part of your life.
You do not want to end up pushing your SO away involuntarily just becomes of some bad days. If you make sure they know, they will better understand you and better be able to help you.
4. Remind yourself of the things you enjoy
It’s very easy to lose interest in your old hobbies or things you care about. You become apathetic towards most things in life, and it feels like a routine.
When this happens, life loses a lot of its color. Even though it may seem like you have no interest in those habits or causes whatsoever, you need to push yourself to be reminded of how much you used to care about them. They are still a part of you, and you don’t want to lose them.
If you can get back into your old hobbies and habits, it will help you feel more alive. You will begin to feel more like yourself on the days where you feel furthest away from yourself than ever.
5. Be aware of friends who might be going through the same thing
There’s a reason why I called this “be aware of friends” and not “talk to your friends”. I’m probably the only person who won’t spit out the age-old advice of “talk to your friends”—because I do understand that that is easier said than done, and a little unrealistic to say the least.
No one wants to sit down with their friends and have to introduce them to The Thing. They just want to be able to talk about it and for the other person to understand.
There’s nothing like a mutual understanding between two friends when you tell them,
“Hey, I’m not really feeling up to anything wild tonight, I kinda spent the whole afternoon crying and just wanna relax.”
And they look at you, just nod in understanding, and don’t freak out or anything. They don’t gasp in shock and say “oh my God! Are you okay? What happened?!”
They know that there’s not necessarily something that had happened; you just have those days. They know because they’ve had those days too.
It’s much easier to disclose your feelings to these friends than people who don’t know what you’re going through. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t tell your other friends what’s happening—but know that the phrase “you are never alone” is true in the most literal sense possible
If you’ve been doing Google searches trying to figure out what The Thing is so you can understand your emotions, perform a self-diagnosis—don’t bother. Does it really matter? You have a right to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, and everyone experiences life differently. The important thing is how you choose to deal with it. After all, it’s just a Thing everyone goes through—you just need to remember that you’re not alone.
For more information on my work check out joseleon-reiki-rmt.com
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