So, you’re pregnant, you’ve got that BFP (big fat positive), you and your partner are having a baby…
And now you’re on that 9 month emotional rollercoaster, swinging from joy, excitement, bursts of love, feeling overwhelmed, stressed and panicking … it’s actually happening now.
As a GentleBirth Instructor I meet pregnant women everyday who are making a conscious decision to take care of their mental health. The great news is there are simple steps to help you on this journey. Make yourself a priority. You are growing a baby and you deserve to take good care of you.
Here are my top tips for taking care of your mental health during pregnancy:
1. Talk it out
It seems so obvious but don’t pretend to be superwoman. It is completely natural to feel anxious during a time of huge change in your life. Talking to your partner, close friends or family about worries can really help to ease your mind. Join an online support group – there are many groups available. Find one that suits you as they can be a great resource for information, advice and reassurance.
2. Keep doing the things that bring you joy, on your new timeline
If you’re finding late nights out with friends are too much to handle, meet up for lunch or go to an early movie. Keeping in touch with friends and having fun is important – laughter is great medicine.
3. Eat well
You’re pregnant, holding down a job, maybe taking care of other children or running your home. Remember that food is fuel for you and your baby so choose healthy wholesome meals. bordbia.ie
4. Take a break and breathe
Make mindfulness part of your daily routine. By simply paying attention to your breath and slowing down the outbreath, you stimulate the relaxation response in your body. Slow breathing slows down the millions of thoughts running through your mind. Training your busy mind to pay attention on purpose takes a little practice but you will see the benefits after only a couple of weeks. It builds the muscle of focus, can reduce low level feeling and increase emotional stability in stressful situations – very useful for labour and parenting too.
5. Start a gratitude journal
Big changes in life can be overwhelming but by keeping a gratitude journal you can shift your focus to a more positive mind-set. Writing one or two lines a night helps to focus on what’s going right in your life and reduces negative self-talk. E.g. I am grateful for the stranger on the bus who gave me their seat or I am grateful for my partner who brought me a cuppa in bed this morning!
6. Stay active
There is nothing like a walk in the park on a nice evening to lift your spirits and shake off the stress of the day. Exercise lifts our moods and releases endorphins – good for mama and baby! Pregnancy yoga was my favourite way to keep active and it was a great way to meet other mums to be, we even kept in touch when our babies arrived. Swimming is another lovely gentle way to exercise and can help baby into the optimum position for birth!
7. Get your birth partner up to speed
A confident mum-to-be needs a confident birth partner. Your partner should fully understand your birth preferences and the best practical ways to support you. Go to a GentleBirth workshop to learn relaxation techniques, physical comfort strategies – with or without pain relief and how Brain Training for Birth can help you prepare for a positive experience. Go to your maternity unit’s antenatal classes too, this will give you a great insight into their policies, their approach and you may get a tour of the labour ward.
8. Positive expectations
9 months is a long time to spend worrying about what may never happen. Preparing yourself mentally for a positive birth not only increases your chance of a better birth experience but it will make your pregnancy less stressful and more enjoyable. After all if you were training for the Marathon, you wouldn’t get too far telling yourself “there’s no way I’ll be able for it, bring the car just in case!” Positive affirmations and visualisation are a proven part of the mental preparation for top athletes. They build confidence and reduce stress at the same time – you can do this! positivebirthstories.com
9. Understand the birth process
Understanding how our bodies work and the physiology of normal birth is an important step to reducing anxiety about labour. Reading books like the Irish Better Birth Book, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth or Childbirth without Fear by Grantly Dick Read can help to shift your perspective and increase your understanding of birth.
10. Worry Well!
If you are worried about something, ask yourself is this something I need to look into or speak to my consultant or midwife about? Do I always feel this way? Do I feel this way when I’m upset? By asking yourself these questions you can figure out if you need to take action.
11. Hire a Doula
“If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it.” ~ John H. Kennell, MDDoulas provide emotional and physical support to women and their partners during labour. Partners often feel more confident with a doula as an extra support person and women report having a better birth experience. They also reduce your chance of having a caesarean by 50%, reduce the need for pain relief and shorten labour – now how is that for your stress levels!
To sum it all up – If you’re unsure about whether something is right for you:
Ask yourself this golden question – Is what I’m doing making me feel more excited or more anxious about my baby’s birth? – If you’re listening to stories or watching birth shows that make you feel anxious switch the channel.
Remember to trust your body and your baby. You’ve got this!
If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety speak to your midwife or GP about it or contact Nurture if you feel you need extra support.
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